A personal account of finding support, tools and understanding in the journey of raising a child with PDA*
8 years ago, when I first met Simone de Hoogh, the founder of Powerwood, my son had been diagnosed with Autism/PDA and we were grappling with his exclusion from school at 6 years old. I was lost in a minefield. I had no map, no tools, no emotional support and escalating levels of overwhelm as my constant companions, that made it hard to see a positive way forward. The stakes felt very high, I wasn’t sure if I could cope and I was very afraid for the future of my child. Powerwood crossed my path and handed me a lifeline. Very slowly but surely we began to walk through that minefield. Simone always teaches us to try to acknowledge our own part in the things that go right. Anyone who has worked with Simone will also know that without the compassion, clarity, wisdom and guidance from Powerwood it could be a very different story.
Raising any children at all, challenges the cultural and generational paradigms within us. When neurodivergence and emotional intensity are in the mix, we can spend all our energy on just navigating the recommendations, judgements and advice of our surrounding world. The quest for understanding alone, (our own and that of others) can create overwhelming stress. Under the PowerWood umbrella, the finely tuned combination of scientific research, lived experience, tried and tested tools and personalised information helped me to feel seen, heard, understood and supported in ways that I had not experienced before.
Over decades of working with clients willing to feed back their honest experiences and try out strategies often underpinned by scientific research, Simone developed the theory of multi faceted emotional regulation (MERT). This combination of research and tools can actually land in our day to day lives. As our understanding deepens about what is going on beneath the surface for both ourselves and our child, tools and strategies selected for our unique processing combinations can be tried out. You only have to see them work once to know that they can become a part of your survival kit. This helps us as parents to gain deep layers of awareness and confidence in our parenting, despite the overwhelming situations that we may encounter.
The Powerwood website is an archive of collected knowledge, lived experiences, solidarity, inspiration and practical tools that actually help, so this donation is made with my deepest gratitude for what I have been lucky enough to receive, to ensure that the archive can continue to reach other neurodivergent families and give access to greater understanding, tools, stories and strategies. If we are lucky, more information will be added. My hope is that Simone will start making podcasts to further ease the access to her expertise.
The Powerwood website and Simone’s explanation of the Multi faceted emotional regulation theory (MERT) provides a road map, it is an archive of hope for any parent like me, who feels overwhelmed by their situation.
*PDA stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance, which is a profile, often only recognised within the autism spectrum, characterised by an intense resistance to normal daily demands and a strong need for autonomy. It is often associated with high levels of anxiety and can lead to hightened emotional responses when faced with demands.